Songs of the Heart

So for Group therapy on tuesday I have to bring a few songs that I cherish. I have chosen "I'll follow you into the dark" By Death Cab for Cutie, and "Blackbird" by the Beatles. Since today is valentine's day and I am single and not with my baby I have been listening to music to keep me sane and I decided to learn "I'll follow you into the dark" on the guitar. I played it about twice and I had memorized the lyrics and the music. I found that the song means so much to me because its about life and about dying but being able to see and be with the one(s) you love for the rest of eternity. Lately I've been having a lot of problems since Justin broke up with me and now I have to go see Piper with my mom which is not as fun as going with Justin, but this song made me feel like I won't I'll have someone to go into the dark with. I will be with whoever I love and choose to be with because for once I deserve to be happy, I deserve to choose my fate. Lately, also, I have felt like I am going to be alone forever and that song just makes me feel like I won't. I sound like an old pessimistic person but I've gone through hell and back in this last year that no one can understand unless they've had to give up two people that they love more than anyone else. Music is the one of the few things that are getting me through this stupid holiday. My favorite line is "Don't be afraid because we'll hold each other soon in the darkest of rooms."

I chose "Blackbird" because I kick some serious butt when I play it on the guitar but also because I love sybolism and that song is full of sybolism. You know when people say "hum your favorite hymn" when your sad or upset? Well, I sing/play blackbird because I know that even though something is damaging me in some way I can still sing in the dead of night. I'm still alive, I'm still breathing, I am still getting through even though I want to just lay there and die, I have to remember that life goes on and that wounds heal.

Sometimes I think that I think too much, or that I am too deep haha. Its something that I was blessed with, I was blessed with being able to see through words and apply them. Its hard to actually take action but ya know whatever there have been harder things I have had to deal with.